..and now the end is near...

... I DID IT MY WAY!!
Went for my last chemo infusion on Monday, December 28, 2009. I informed the oncologist I wasn't going to go the next four rounds of Taxol. She understood, but I don't think she was totally on board with me. My feeling is, we are not shrinking a tumor, that was taken care of with surgery...why do I need any more 'preventive medicine' that's making me feel like a slug. I will do five weeks of radiation in a month.
My 'girls' came with me on Monday..Patty L., Vicki, M.A., and Patty C. We had holiday treats and of course a Scrabble game ...4-way! I was winning and Patty L. went out and took all of the points with her! I was there for five hours, but the time flew by with my girls. I LOVE THEM ALL, I am so lucky and blessed they are following me on my journey.
Monday night, Mary Lou J., and M.A. came over and M.L. trimmed up my wig to make it more 'me-like'. Added a bit of curl and I feel oh so much better in it. Won't love wearing it any more, but at least I don't think I will feel as conspicuous.
I am going to try to get out this morning and get a few errands done. I need to do some 'real' food shopping, not just send Barry out with a list. I am feeling ok this a.m. I stayed in bed until after 8:00 a.m., so I am pretty rested. Will try to get some breakfast in me, take a shower and get O-U-T!!

..the rush is over

Well, the holiday rush is over. I have been in bed all day (Sat.) missing the sales and the holiday-after rush. I attribute most of my fatigue to a head cold I have had for over two weeks. Monitoring my temperature so that doesn't become an issue. No energy, no strength and still one more infusion to go on Monday. After much discussion with family, I have decided to forego the next round of chemotherapy drug, Taxol. I feel I have put my body through enough trauma to last me a life time. We are not shrinking a tumor here, so I am confident that having gone four rounds of these two drugs, I am done. I will discuss this with my oncologist on Monday. Hopefully she will be on board with my decision. I think it's time to think about what is good for ME..not what I have to look forward to in five years. A lot can happen in that length of time and I am hoping with the power or prayer and good living habits, I can be cancer-free in five years!
I am so tired of not feeling good, of being limited as to what I can do and for how long. No appetite, issues with 'bathroom' that never seem to go away and just how I look. Not meaning to sound vain, but I hate my wig, don't feel comfortable in it and can't bring myself to going the 'scarf route' either.
If I have to do radiation, so be it. My one concern about the Taxol is the neuropathy. I'm scared that with my sciatic nerve, one day I could fall down the stairs or not be able to balance. This is a frightening thought.
Let's pray that I am making the right decision and that the oncologist is on board with my decision!

......temperature's rising

What started off to be what I THOUGHT might be just a mix of surgery and chemo within a couple of days, turned out to be more. On Monday night, December 14, I spiked a temp of 100.6. When you're a cancer patient, that's not a good thing. Called the oncologist and she advised me to get to the ER to be checked out. Of course everyone and their grandmother is there, so of course I had to wait in line for my turn! Had my vitals taken, my temp was down to 99, but as a precaution I was taken to a room (NOT with a view!) in the ER and given IV fluids. At 11:00 p.m., I was told I was going to be admitted but there were no available rooms. Sent Barry home, and I spent the night on a 2x4 gurney which was hell on my back/legs! Tuesday morning I was transported to a floor(AND a 'room with a view'!) and had blood work and more IV fluids. My oncologist came in that evening and said that I was anemic, dehydrated and run down. Hm....I guess that's what cancer does to you! They used my port for all the IV's so at least we know that's working. Thought I would go home early Weds. morning, but when they put yet ANOTHER IV fluid bag on, I knew it would be a while. Around 3 p.m. the case worker came in and said I could go home...YAY! My nurse's were wonderful but there's "NO PLACE LIKE HOME" and your own bed...no one coming in at midnight to 'take your vitals'...so I am home, slept like a baby and feel a little stronger today. Opted to STAY home, it's 15 degrees and windy and I'm sure FREEZING out there so I will just kind of putter around the house while I have a little strength and NOT overdo it, but get things in order...Christmas is a week away!!
Felt really bad I couldn't be 'hostess' to my sister when she was here..but I know she understands. This bump in the road is getting narrower with every turn!!

to port or not to port

Well, today I went in for round #3. My sister Elaine was there with me for my visit with the oncologist and asked 'all the pertinent' questions so she could better understand what it is I am going through. Get to infusion area and it was decided that I was way too sore to have them use the port this time around. It is very swollen and sore, but the nurse and doctor are confident it's all part of the process and by December 28, I should be fine to use it. More invasions in my body.
I met a wonderful woman who was in the cubicle next to me and alone, so we chatted for a bit. It's always good to chat with someone who is going through what you are going through to get a better idea of what it is to expect. Unfortunately for Mary, this is her second time around with BC. She opted for a mastectomy this time in hopes of getting it all and being DONE! Can't say as I blame her. I'm just beginning this journey, Mary has lived it twice.
Elaine is here and has taken over my kitchen cabinets. Now if it's one thing I am NOT and that is a 'hoarder'...but I suppose that looking at what I have in plastic containers and the like, maybe I do need to chuck a few things....so I will give her that much satisfaction, but HOARDER? No. I have to draw the line on that one after viewing a show on them...creeps me out!
Now I will go and take a bit of a nap.

...oh port!

Woke up to what looks like a major n'oreaster today as far as snow. Guess it's not, but I am sure glad I am NOT in it, driving or otherwise.
Had the port placed in yesterday (December 8) OH my. It hurts like you read about. I called the doctor last night after getting no relief from pain meds. He told me to add a couple of Advil with it...just to get me to SLEEP! Being a side sleeper doesn't help as neither side is comfortable. Iced it down and was still up every hour. Finally had to get up at 5:30 a.m., take a pain med and go down and get something in my stomach. Had only had a bite to eat after I got home from the hospital at noon. Decided to head back to bed this morning and see if I can't get a bit of shut-eye. Does anything get easier in this journey? Need my strength to get up tomorrow morning for round three. All part of 'the plan'...such a plan I never intended happening!

...back to the OR

Well, it's back on the operating table in the a.m. Need to have a port a cath put in and Susan has offered to get up EARLY (6 a.m.) and get me to the hospital on time! They've told me it's about a half hour procedure and I should be in/out and home by noon. That's good IF they are on time getting me to the OR! Figured Weds. will be a wash for me, so I'll stay home the remainder of the week and back for round 3 on Thursday at the Cancer Center. Can't believe how many friends and family want to BE THERE and help out. Makes my life and Barry's a lot easier to have offers of rides to/from hospital and Cancer Center. THANK YOU ONE AND ALL!!
HATE my itchy head..ugh. Wish I could bite the bullet and just go with a kerchief on my head each day. Just not ready to take that step yet. It's not vanity, it's just that 'stigma' of "SHE HAS CANCER LOOK"...ick.
Let's hope this next phase will make things easier at infusion time and not be a pain for me!! Stay tuned!!

testing 1-2-3

It's Friday morning...early. MY DAY OFF and I'm off to the hospital for tests. Saw the surgeon on Thursday and it's determined that I will need a port-a-cath for the chemo IV. WHEW! My arm was starting to look like I was doing drugs! AND very sore. So it's off today to have another EKG; chest xray and some blood drawn. It never ends. I start to feel a little better and WHAM! Better get used to it I guess.
The first week with the wig went well. I hate it, I feel like EVERYONE knows I have it on, but for what it's worth, it doesn't look half bad. Everyone has been so supportive and uplifting to me, I feel a lot better about myself. I'm not eating like I should be, hate the metallic taste in my mouth, but know in order to keep my strength up, I need to.
Off I go....

...buzz away

Well, I did it. Had Mike come over and 'buzz' away what was left of my hair. I think he really enjoyed this!! In between the tears, I guess it was the smartest thing to do. Waking up with a mouthful of hair from my pillow wasn't a pretty sight! I didn't want to look at it right away. Just that last vestige of dignity gone awry.
Took a couple of days off to get myself back in the 'groove'. Put the wig on this a.m. and I guess it looks fine. TO ME it looks like a wig, to others maybe not so much. We'll see when we get to school today.

Just another phase of this rotten disease and what it does to your psyche.

not so good today

Not a good day today. It's very disheartening to see your hair fall all over the place. The sink, the pillow, the tub, the table..yuk. Feel like I'm just cleaning hair from everywhere. Like your last 'phase of dignity' in this journey. It's making me weepy and I hate that feeling. I know...hair is hair, it grows back..but it also puts into perspective what it is you're going through on a daily basis. Bones ache today, had a shot yesterday and that's one of the side effects. I am expecting that tomorrow will be my major fatigue day. Let's hope not.
SO glad that nausea hasn't played a huge part in this. They do give you good meds to help combat that for which I am grateful.
SO wanted to attend the baby shower of my dear friends' daughter today but know in my heart I wouldn't be much company to anyone, so I'm opting to stay at home.
Well, we'll get through this..my friends and family have been so wonderful, I know I wouldn't be able to combat this alone without their help and for that I am eternally grateful. We'll just plug along each day and hope for that 'light at the end of the tunnel"....

..the day after

Had my round #2 on Friday, November 27. I awoke with a headache that never seemed to go away even after the chemo nurse gave me tylenol. BUT the good side was, Patty L. and Vicki came over and we played a 3-way scrabble game! AND they didn't even let me win! IMAGINE. Should've played that 'C' card!!
Left the cancer center around 12:30 p.m. after getting there at 8:30 a.m. No matter how you slice it, I think it's going to be a 3-4 hour process each time. It's great to be able to have friends/family visit while you are there because it could get a bit boring!!
Came home, had a nice salad, Jeff was here to join me for lunch and then I hit the couch! Tried to sleep, asking Barry to 'screen' my calls so I could, but I think I finally nodded off around 4 for a bit. A little bit of upset stomach and some nausea so I took an anti-nausea med and felt somewhat better. Had no desire for supper so I just retreated upstairs to be comfy in my own bed. Around 9 p.m. I knew I needed something to fill my stomach so Barry brought me a piece of dry wheat toast that seemed to do the trick. Had a so-so night of sleep, getting up at 4:30 a.m. because I was too awake and restless to lie there and try to nod off.
Went downstairs and had a bowl of cereal with a banana, that seemed to take the 'edge' off my hunger. Needed to be productive and felt good enough to start making out my Christmas cards, pay some bills and clean out a drawer!! Now that's what I call PROGRESS!!
7:00 a.m. after I get through with this, I'm going to try to 'nap' a bit in my bed. I've made an appointment to get my hair cut short today. Am losing handfuls of hair by the minute and before I need to don that wig, I want to get it short enough to have the wig feel snug. Went so far as to buy a cute kerchief at the cancer center on Friday, but that will be worn only when I HAVE TO!! Just not the type to 'advertise', if you know what I mean!!
This 'process' gets better and better.............!!

back for 'more'...

I am up early this a.m. Since my sciatic nerve in my leg is acting up and I can't take ibuprofen to help calm it, I might as well get UP and be productive! Wrapped some more Christmas gifts, that's good to occupy your mind. I go over to the cancer center at 8:00 for round 2 of chemo. Yesterday was a turning point in this crusade. I was combing my hair and looked down in the bathroom sink to see LOTS of hair that had fallen. It floored me. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of 'when' so I don't think you are ever prepared for it when it DOES happen. I told Barry and he was right there to console me...of course, he's such a rock for me in this journey. I know I have a wig...I know eventually I will have to bite the bullet and wear it, but just to see your hair (of which I don't have a lot of!!) sitting there is a tough pill to swallow.
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. I couldn't be real 'sociable' as there were smokers in the house and that bothered me, so I had to retreat to another room so I wouldn't be smelling it. I left early to come home and just be alone with my thoughts about today...wondering if I'm going to feel as lousy as I did the last time on day three. All part of the process...get used to it, right!
DO YOU? DO YOU EVER "GET USED TO IT" until it's over???

...three more days to round 2

So here it is the Tuesday before 'infusion' day...I have my taste buds back, just in time to lose them again. Food actually tastes good, which I find comforting because being hungry isn't great even if you are overweight!! Gearing up for turkey day feast with family and friends. Will hopefully be 'safe' from germs and enter into Friday's infusion fairly healthy.

it was bound to happen....

So much of a 'good thing'. Yep. Sunday morning I couldn't lift my head off the pillow OR Monday for that matter. Nothing tasted good, food didn't appeal to me, yeah, I read it all but thought it wouldn't apply to me! Why should I be 'left out'? Fatigue is the worst. I can deal with pain to a point, but fatigue is so not nice. Dry toast, the dry heaves, they go so well with each other! Monday morning, same thing. Poor Bar didn't want to leave me, until I assured him I would be fine and just sleeping. Didn't even put on the TV that 's how yukky I felt. Susan came over on Monday night with Instant Breakfast and strawberry ice cream. Managed to get it down, but I don't even know if I LIKED IT!! I must have, I guess I drank it down. Went to school on Tues., around 10 a.m. I was feeling squeamish so I left with every intention of going back. Took a look at the couch and knew it was 'mine' for the remainder of the day! Chicken and rice for supper..sounds great, one piece was all I wanted. This isn't my idea of 'dieting'! The plan is to keep on trekking...just do what I can when I can and if I can't then so be it!

..two days into treatment

Ok, so here it is, Saturday and I STILL feel pretty good. I am a bit achy from the booster shot yesterday, one of the side effects. But I was able to hit a few holiday fairs today and do breakfast with the gals. HOPING to get out to be with friends this evening, but will wait to see what the remainder of the day brings. Need to lay down and rest, maybe I am pushing myself harder than I should be, but think it's a GOOD thing since I may not have these moments in the coming weeks! Could also wrap a few more xmas gifts and make some headway in clearing out the spare bedroom! Also a 'good day' when you get up, shower, wash your hair and it's STILL in place!!

...my first session with chemo

SO...I arrived at the Cancer Center at 11:20 a.m. for my first 'infusion' session. Met with the oncologist at 11:45, we went over all the whys and wherefors of the chemo...side effects, what she's giving me, etc...Went to the 'infusion' cubicle and met my nurse Ann who was wonderful. She injected me with a saline solution to 'clean out' before the chemo is put in. This was close to 2 hours worth of sitting, getting up and using the potty many times..geez, that's a pain!! Barry sat with me the whole time. Mary Alice came in for a bit to sit and talk, that's always a comfort to me. Around 2:30 p.m. they moved me to another cubicle 'down the hall' ..shift over for Ann, and Beth took over. ANOTHER fabulous nurse! Around 3 p.m. she puts in drug #1 Adriamycin. It's red..so of COURSE you're gonna see PINK when ya pee; (I thought I was all 'pinked out'!!) sat through that and around 3:30 she puts in the saline solution along with the Cytoxan-C. This took about an hour and a half. In between these times, I've taken an anti-nausea pill and up/down to the potty!! Had two bottles of water, a cup of tea and coffee. Don't let anyone tell you hospital coffee/tea is GOOD, they LIE!! Next time, it's DUNKIN' DONUTS for me!! Someone ate all the chicken salad sandwiches, so I had a pack of Fig Newtons and Lorna Doones..very healthy..of course why would they have them in the cancer center if they were BAD for you, right?
Vicki & Sandy came in before their night out with the gals..had to pass on that, I'm sure by 8 pm I'll be three sheets to the wind! Left the cancer center around 5 pm a very VERY long afternoon!!
Stopped at CVS on the way home to pick up MORE anti-nausea meds and came home to dinner. Had a few bites of roasted chicken and some potatoes and carrots..downed another TWO bottles of water and I'm STILL parched! They told me this would happen, so I'm well prepared!
Called some of my nearest/dearest and now it's time for bed!! Have to be fitted for my wig on Friday and get my 'build-up-my-white-blood-cells-injection' tomorrow as well. They tell me my WORST day could be tomorrow. SO not looking forward to that!
Time will tell!!!

....twas the night before...

Ok, so it's Wedsnesday night..before I begin chemo. So many thoughts in my head. So many phone calls from concerned friends and family wishing me well. I am so blessed and fortunate to have so many who care surrounding me with their love. Have to say, I AM SCARED S*itless..yep, I am. Hoping I will sleep ok tonight and not dwell on the inevitable. Had some retail therapy today and am pleased to say that I am just about 97 1/2% done with my holiday shopping. Feels good to be more than a month away from Christmas and I have all that done.
Hope to be able to post a blog or two after chemo tomorrow. We'll see....

...relaxing by the ocean

Took a weekend and spent it by the sea, by the beautiful sea with dear friends, Ellen & Steve Nelson. Arrived on Thursday evening with Barry, stopping at the supermarket for food, had a quiet evening eating in, just relaxing. The Nelson's arrived on Friday afternoon and we had our walk along the beach just enjoying each other's company and the sunshine and ocean. Decided to go to dinner in downtown Chatham that evening, came home and had a couple of Scrabble games with Ellen. The guys just chatted and caught up with what's going on in the world! Early to bed...
Up on Saturday morning, had a light breakfast and decided to take a trip to Provincetown. Haven't been there in years and thought it would be a nice drive. The weather was perfect, the company exceptional and the ride to P-town was fun. We drove to the tip of Cape Cod, took a few photos, watched a 'corvette parade' come around the corner and then proceeded to go into town. Did some shopping and went to lunch at THE LOBSTER POT (highly recommended by all!) The service was great, the food was awesome and filled..we headed out of P-town and stopped at the Provincetown Lighthouse. Steve and I decided to be daring (under Ellen's watchful eye) and hopped the 'safety fence' to gaze at the cliffs below. What an awesome sight!! No dare devil stunts by either of us, but some great photos.
Ride back to Chatham was nice, the sun was setting and everything was perfect. We opted not to go out Saturday night but had a few games of whist and Scrabble and by 10:00 we were all yawning!!
This was a perfect way to spend a weekend prior to thinking about chemo treatments and just be with dear friends, hubby and the SEA! Can't thank my dear friend Bob enough for his generosity in 'lending' me his home so I could clear my head and think of nothing else but peace and quiet!
A 'short week' for me this week, with a holiday in the middle, chemo treatment #1 begins at 11:30 a.m. on November 12....

to 'wig' or not to 'wig'...

Well, how much fun is it to have to go and pick out a wig on account of you are expecting your hair to fall out with chemo? ONLY if you bring three of your nearest and dearest!! Went to a local salon and met with Rita who was just as nice as can be. She wasn't surprised I brought along three friends...Patty, M.A. and Sandy. We tried some wigs on and we laughed and laughed. Of course there wasn't a lot to try, but I did find one that I think will fit the bill. It's ordered, so now I await it's arrival. I love my girls for being there with and FOR me, as always!! I would post the pictures, but I might wet my pants laughing out loud!!

'last call' with surgeon...

Met with the surgeon today for my post-op. She said the incision looks great and that I should be all set for what's next...we know what THAT is! Also said she thought it a good idea to begin some kind of exercise program to strengthen the arm that she removed lymph nodes from. A little sore, but do-able! Will see me in six months which should be after all my treatments. She's confident I'm doing the right thing by chemo. Am I SO CONFIDENT? Not too sure..but she told me to stop second-guessing myself and go with it, I will be so much better off for it later on. Oh so easy for someone else to say. Need to grab Sandy and go 'wig-shopping'!!

Meeting with Oncologist 10/23/09

Just got back from my appointment with the oncologist. How lucky was I to have my daughter in law Susie accompany me to this appointment? My son is a very lucky man! We went over the 'course of treatment' and that will begin on Thursday, November 12. I will start adjuvant chemotherapy with four cycles of Adriamycin and Cytoxin. After that four weeks, I will then begin another four weeks of Taxol. So much medical jargon..so much to read, so many 'side effects'..geez...will I get through this? I know I will, it's just so much to take in at once. After each treatment I will go back to the cancer center and have an injection to boost my white blood cells which will be killed off with these medicines. I've opted to do my treatments on Thursdays...so of course the next few months a holiday or holiday eve falls on a THURSDAY!! So, we'll work around it! Guess it's time to go 'wig-shopping'!

GOOD NEWS!

Came home on Wednesday to great news. The surgeon's office called and said the 'margins were clear, no more surgery'! How exciting. I would've been even MORE excited had they said you're clear, so let's forget the chemo!! Appointment with oncologist on Friday, October 23. I am sure she will have the information I need to begin treatment. I think I need to gear myself up for this and look at it as a healing process. I have more offers of 'chemo angels', I am so very lucky. I hope that I can take advantage of asking friends to share in this journey with me. I think that it will be an easier process for me to digest. Thank you to all who have been there with words, cards, phone calls and most of all, prayers! I know it's going to be a tough road ahead, and I am going to try my darndest to get through it.

surgery ...again

On Friday, October 16, 2009, I went in for more surgery. THIS time, it was to 'clean out the margins' around the lumpectomy. I opted to stay awake during this surgery, which was great, it only took less than a half hour. I could hear what was going on but never felt a thing!! Guess it's good to be in la-la land every now and then!
It is now snowing. Imagine that. Life does go on and so does the weather!! The PATS are beating up on Tennessee. The key players have been pulled..well, most of them, so this should be a good coup for our team!!

...surgery

Returned to school on September 1. The long Labor Day weekend was set aside to go to Normandy Farms in Foxboro to camp for the weekend. Friends and family consisted of Debbie, Scott, Jayne, Joey, Jenn, Jillian, Amy...Jackie & Skylar, Derek & Friends and various folks who 'dropped by'. The weather couldn't have been better. We swam in the pool in the day, did a little shopping (well of course I DID!!) had great food, lots of laughs and it gave me a time to put it all into perspective. In a few weeks I would be going in for surgery.

September 24..surgery at South Shore Hospital.
Arrived at 7:00 a.m. for scheduled surgery at 10:40. Around 9:00 they sent Barry home and brought me to radiology. I had three mammograms done (ouch) and then the radiologist inserted a needle to help guide the surgeon to the site. Back up to wait, it was 12:45 p.m. before I was taken down to the OR. What a long day..I was starving, even with the IV fluids in, I just wanted something to drink!! Saw Jayne who was to be with me during the surgery, then off to sleep I went! I awoke in recovery around 4 pm. I guess it all went ok..I was told later that Dr. Suniti Nimbkar took out 23 lymph nodes and three were cancerous. I went home around 5:30 p.m. and I was beat. So many wonderful people left off food and I was left to rest. The next day (Friday) I was beat, so I spent the better half of the day just relaxing, resting and taking it easy. I do believe that on Saturday, September 26, Susan came over and took me for a ride. We went to the beach and lunch and did a little retail therapy. What better way to recover than to shop!? That night the four of us (John, Susan, Barry & I) went to dinner. I felt pretty good..considering I was a bit sore under the armpit! I stayed home from school for 7 days opting to go back after my visit with the surgeon on Oct. 6. She gave me the ok to 'work as needed' without pain or discomfort. Didn't want to use up too many sick days as I knew the 'best was yet to come'!! She informed me at this visit that she would like for me to begin chemotherapy treatments in a month or so....what was I THINKING? This could be a 'walk in the park' for me? Radiation for a few weeks and I'd be home free? I guess not. She threw me for a loop. My class reunion is coming up in a few days...I am going to party like it's 1969!! AND I DID! What a blast. Us gals (Housekeepers, as we so aptly named ourselves years ago...) met at Carol's house in Walpole for a sleep over and 'fashion show'!! The girls brought out a cake for me...sang "HAPPY CHEMOTHERAPY" to the tune of Happy Birthday..and gave me a beautiful journal for my thoughts. So now I am going to have to use this as my 'chemo journal' in addition to this blog! If/when I figure out if this blog is going to work and anyone out there cares to read it, then maybe this journey won't be so bad after all!!

...and so it continues

I needed to get out on Friday night, August 28, be with family, friends, anyone who would help to get me to understand and realize that this is the real deal. Dinner with friends/family at Nino's in Weymouth was a great diversion. I laughed, I had a glass of wine, but to beat the band, I had a lousy dinner!! So much for that. I am beginning to prepare myself for what is to be. The oncologist has decided to do a lumpectomy and check out my lymph nodes. I wouldn't find out for a few days when the scheduled surgery was but got a call that it would be on September 24, 2009. I was starting back to school on September 1. Who do I tell? Who do I not tell? Does everyone, should everyone know?? Of course I had to tell my 'girls'...the PINK FABS...Mary Alice, Patty L., Sandy, Vicki...and of course the support from them was overwhelming. M.A. came over, we had a long talk, she has been through this, WE will get through this together. I knew that. Patty..bless her soul, she wants to give me a 'pink dinner'. We need to ask the 'young un's' ...Laurie, Katie and Chris. It was all set to have this dinner the weekend I planned our trip to Ogunquit, Maine for Barry's birthday. THIS trip was going to be a blast. The gang from 40 years past was going up and we were going to re-live our "TOBY WEEKEND" from 1972! How fun would that turn out to be? Ok. I can get home by 4 pm for my 'pink dinner', but not before I have a blast with David, Joe, John, Lorraine, Kevin, Jean, Trish, Kay, Marie, Bill, and Rich Carlson. Saw Sally Struthers at the Ogunquit Theatre in "ALL SHOOK UP", had drinks at the FRONT PORCH; lunch at "BLUE WATER"; walked the Marginal Way with Joe and David; walked the beach...stayed at THE ANCHORAGE and shopped! What a whirlwind weekend. They made me laugh, they gave me the support I needed to know that I would be going in for surgery the following Thursday and prayers galore!! I can do this..I have the BEST support system ever!!

The Journey has begun

My journey to learning I have been diagnosed with breast cancer began in July, 2009. After a routine mammogram, I was asked to return for an ultra sound. Not realizing then that I should be 'worried', I went for my ultra sound and the radiologist recommended that I have a biopsy. Since I was doing my summer camp job, I asked if I could postpone that biopsy until the end of August. This was do-able, so on August 25th, I went to SSH and had the biopsy done. I went alone, thinking I would be ok and the radiologist said that I would have results sometime by the end of the week. By Thursday, August 27, I got that call I had dreaded but not quite had come to grips with...the radiologist said the biopsy was malignant and that he found cancer cells. NOT what I wanted to hear all by myself on a beautiful sunny day in August! Immediately I knew I had to call someone...so it was my sister Elaine in California. After a few 'choice words' she calmed me down and said ...'IT WILL BE OK, we're in this together'...Soon after that, Barry came in and he knew by the look on my face that something was up. Not long after that I got a call from my doctor's office that I was to go to the Breast Care Center in S. Weymouth to meet with an oncology surgeon. This appointment was on Friday, August 28. ...